Companionship & Community (Part Two)

By: Randal Myers

Home > Learning Center > Devotional Articles

I remember going through a difficult time in my life during my early college years during which I had suffered a few losses and failures. I was self conscious, depressed, felt inferior and alone. It was a very unpleasant experience. I got a bit depressed and sort of pulled into myself.

My band director was Dr. John M. Long, a legend in the band business and he was known to be a sort of cult philosopher of the Bear Bryant variety. He would frequently go on rants that we didn't completely understand at the time. Much later, most of the time years after graduation, his wisdom and the point of some of his stories would suddenly dawn on us as we faced various life situations. The validity of his philosophy often had to be experienced to be fully appreciated or understood.

One philosophical rant, however, seemed tailor-made for me and my situation right then and there. He shouted something like, ìSome of you are sad and depressed all the time because you don't have any friends. Well, you don't have any friends because you're always sad and depressed!! Who wants to be friends with somebody who's always moping around and bringing everybody down?!!î

A light came on. In a single moment everything about my existence changed. I know it sounds nuts, but I was different from that moment forward. It wasn't my circumstances that had dictated my lack of effective relationships with people. IT WAS ME!!! It was my perspective on life. It was my attitude. It was the manner in which I reacted to my circumstances and related to others. People like likeable people. So if I wanted more and better friends and if I desired to be happier with my place in the world it wasn't up to all the people around me. It was up to me. It was my responsibility to become a person others could and would want to connect with.

"People like likeable people."

Those who are established in the congregation definitely have responsibility to seek out the less connected. All of us must pursue new relationships and welcome others into true fellowship. 1 Corinthians 12:21 reveals this when it says, The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you !" We must not neglect this critical area of Body Life.

But notice something else very interesting from a few verses earlier; If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. In this passage, it isn't the rest of the body rejecting the foot or the ear; these individual parts are describing themselves that way. Their view of themselves is the problem.

If I present myself as someone who likes to be left alone, I probably will be left alone. All Christians are placed in the Body by God...we must all contribute to relationship building, Community if you will, within the Body.

In the church, if I am not feeling a part of the whole; if I am constantly on the fringes; if I am on the outside looking in, could it be that I am the one who must do something different? How can that happen? I'm glad you asked.1) Invite two couples over for a simple meal or activity. 2) Attend all church events, TLC Team gatherings, etc. 3) Find someone with a common interest and make a specific plan to do it together. 4) Look for ways to serve that will create an opportunity for conversation. 5) Sit in a different location during church services near interesting people. 6) Look for newcomers who need a connection. 7) Begin to send notes of encouragement to others, some will seek you out. 8) Get involved with a church ministry. 9) Make a point to stay longer following services and actively seek out conversations. 10) Be in prayer for God to reveal answers and opportunities.

Home | Search | Welcome Center | Learning Center